plausible tales

We're all just stories in the end.

themumblybee:

"How To Respond To Criticism" by Mallory Ortberg

Remember: criticism is the same thing as wholesale condemnation and also murder, so react accordingly.

(via staygold-kanerboy)

I love your meat ignorance.

—My mom, trying to counsel my sister through a math problem requiring her to do something like estimate how many heads of cattle are required for so many hamburgers, or something.

Dana. Dana, go. Stop showing me pictures of Iggy Azalea and food and leave.

—me, just now

puckling:

bigbadrussian:

imsirius:

Also, I got into hockey when I was up [in Canada] as well x

You’re a bastard, Harry…

Do you ever take a moment to just be glad about how well all the Potter kids (and DanRad especially) turned out? 

(via aohatsu)

fuckyeah1990s:

The Beets - Killer Tofu

(Source: andrope, via puckling)

  • me: *reaches over to noogie my brother*
  • mom: nice bicep
  • brother: thanks
  • mom: I was talking to your sister

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